I was at this party recently and was asked the question that I dread to even think about, let alone say out loud.
How can somebody like you be single?
I wish I have the answer to that question. Oh god, how I wish.
I remember talking to Em2 a few months ago about the same matter.
“Why should I just settle? I mean I have the certain lifestyle that I’m used to. I’m beautiful and I’m bright and I don’t think that there’s any man out there that suits me”.
I just kept my mouth shut.
I later asked a friend of mine. Why?
He simply said,
“Nobody’s good enough for me plus I’m so sick of the whole cycle. You have dinner, you talk, you tease bout sex and you pretend you‘re not interested but deep inside you are. You know the whole cycle”.
I just smiled to that comment.
I asked the same question to my other friends and most of them gave me the same answer (well maybe not the same but you’ll get the drift)

“Ugly people should just accept what come their way so that it’ll be easier for us to have the good looking ones”

“I don’t date strangers (huh?)”

“I prefer being single”

“I’m looking for the perfect one”

“I’m a leper”

Okay, so I made the last one up. But still, we give tones of excuses when it comes to the thing that we want the most. To share our life with someone. To be able to talk and just let yourself free.
I begin to wonder. Are all these excuses made to hide our fear? The fear of people thinking that we are lepers. The fear of people thinking that we are commitment phobic. To tell people that we can get one if we want to but we just don’t feel like it.
Or do we?

What if it’s not the people around us? What if the problem is us?
Are we all hoping for that knight in the shining armor (or Armani suit) to come to our rescue and drove off (sunset in the background) in a white Range Rover 4.6 HSE to a faraway country home (or Mandarin Oriental)? Are we being too picky to the point where we just narrow down to these few group of people that are totally unattainable? Why are we torturing ourselves?

Okay, so some people are just waiting for the perfect ones. The one who wears Miyake or Boss or Dior Homme. Who has a house in Kenny Hill or Taman TAR or U-Thant. The one who drives a BMW 7 Series or Mercedes S Class. Who only goes to places like Bon Ton or Tamarind Hill for dinner. Who has millions in his/her bank account.
I just finished watching the WEDDING PLANNER starring Miss Lopez and there was this one really nice line said by the father to Ms Lopez in that film. He said that
“Love is never perfect. Love is just love”

But despite all that, the people that suffered the most in this situation are the good looking ones. Nobody would wanna come up to them and talk because somehow, rumors have it that they’re with someone or that they would only go for the rich and good looking ones. Lemme tell you something. Good looking people are human too. If you like someone you should just tell them when you have the chance. Don’t let the moment pass you by. And to all those good looking people out there. Please say something. Don’t just stand there and wait for people to come to you. It’s a two way thing. One should be able to address the other and be comfortable in each other’s presence.

Back to the Riddle of the Sphinx (How can somebody like you be single?)
I don’t know. Seriously. I have no answers for that. Maybe I’m a leper.

Taking a break from doin’ mah work. You know chill a bit, have a smoke or two. Anyway last weekend I had a really great time. Again, I broke the norm. You know the-stay
–at-home-and-do-my-work-while-waiting-for-Queer-Eye-for-the-Straight-Guy norm. I seriously needed a break from my school work and my room. The school work was getting a bit redundant while room was attacked by papers.

Saturday I went to Bangsar for Talk and Walk with Adela. (Rizal was wearing Puma loafers, Energie jeans and French Connection shirt). She showed us some of the projects done by her company. It was okay. Me and Emma had soo much fun bitching and chilling. As usual. We lepak-ed for a while at Alexis before I left for Halim’s open house in Puchong. A friend of mine picked me up and we arrived at Halim’s place around 9.15 I think. Such Huge house. Fit for a…erm Halim. Anyway I had some food lontongs, nasi lemak, u know the usual. We lepak for a while with friends who came a bit later. Eddy and Tasha (fine chick) were there Saiful and the other Eddy too. We hangout and talked and well, the usual.
(Currently listening to Verve Pipe-The Freshman)

After the open house we went out to KL. Lepak-ed at Planet dancing like there’s no tomorrow. Seriously. The last time I had so much fun was when Tom Ford was made the head of YSL Rive Gauche. That was like ages. Anyway. We danced to some rock stuff and some RnB. But as I was getting more retarded with my moves, the music ended and we lepak-ed at Malibu. Met Ben and Nuj. Gorgeous people and stuff. Had some drinks and bitching and went back to Angsana Hilir for a nap (more like hibernating if you ask me). Went back with Icky the next day to Bangi. Didn’t talk much since both were tired.
(Currently listening to Cranberries-Dream)

Arrived home. Slept and got dressed for my friends wedding reception in KL. (Rizal was wearing Giorgio Armani jacket, Energie jeans, Marks and Spencer white shirt and Marks and Spencer shoes). A bit superficial. The wedding not me. With all those soppy and superficial but nice speeches. Got people dancing and stuff. I had to down a few glasses of cocktails before I became superficial too. You’ve got to go with the flow. Lepak-lepak and danced a bit. The ballroom was turned into a mini disco with half-drunk Indian guys and Gals. A bit like a club in Bombay. With songs altered to suit the Bhangra. Went back home after talking to a half-drunk cute Indian Financer for Shell International. Tempted to go to his place and just chill and fuck the next day class. But conscience was nagging and body was tired. So going home was inevitable.

This morning woke up was shocked to death. Face was as big as Texas and body was as shitty as the inside of Indah Water’s tank. It wasn’t beautiful. Plus I had a lil breakdown a la Mariah’s the night before. So college was not an option.
(Currently listening to Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow-Picture)

Anyway, at the wedding last night I couldn’t help but feeling a sad. You know people are getting married and some have bfs and gfs. It’s a bit tiring and depressing to see all these people hanging out and holding their partners hand. I had a chat with Tasha on Sunday Morning. Told her bout my melancholic life story. How I wish I have someone to talk to and stuff. You know. Like partner or something I told her that I envy those people who can actually fight with their girlfriends or boyfriends. At least they have each other to fight with. Me? The only thing I fight with is my computer. Cursing it every time I need to render my projects. Loser huh?