me in my baju melayu hitam, koleq 2005





that's me in green, koleq 2005


due to the pic used as the profile pic for my blog, a few people e-mailed me and asked me for my real pics.

well here they are

but these were taken years ago. in 2005

enjoy!
(not too much, eh)

I know this is a bit disgusting but just bear with me eh?
heheheehehe

I know how some people just can’t stop talking about this. I mean the whole nine yards on how it hurts and all.
I mean seriously after 18-23-40-55 years of doing it, shouldn’t we all get use to the sensation already?
Hahhahahah

Anyway,

Here it is,

Ghost Shit
You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.

Teflon Coated Shit
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!

Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

Second Thought Shit
You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

Bali Belly Shit
You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.

Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

King Kong or Commode Choker Shit
This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Wet Cheeks Shit
This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.

Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!

Cement Block or Oh God Shit
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.

Snake Shit
This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)
Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house.

Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers)
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.

Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.

The Frightened Turtle
The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in

The Bungee Shit
The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.

The Ring of Fire Shit
The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

The Crippler
The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Big Bobber
The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

A friend of mine went thru this when I was back in college. I didn’t know how to drive back then and we were stuck in the infamous Jalan Tun Razak jam. She was seriously pleading for god to ease her pain.

N***in: Oh my god, why is this happening to me? Oh my god, oh my god, god help me, have mercy on me. Oh my god, oh my god………
(repeat a few hundred times with gripping the steering wheel)

Me: (Laughing my head off)

(In case you come face to face with this situation, stop laughing and suggest a few places where she/he can ease her/his suffering. And no, ‘…out the window’ is not what she/he wants to hear).

The Incredible Hulk Shit
The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out.

The Party Pooper
The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

The Toxic Gas Shit
The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

The Windy City Shit
When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit.

Oh Shit! Shit
You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!

The Never Ending Shit
It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Ouch That Hurt Shit
The type of shit that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours.

Go hence, to have more talk of these funny things and have a great day.

So far I’ve managed to make a fool of myself.
You know how this whole internet thing works.
You fall in love with somebody online
And well... that's it. You know, you just fall in love.
hahahhahha
No I’m not in love. I’m far from it.

The past few weeks have been okay (I think) .
I’ve managed to finish a couple of books that I just have to finish, watch movies that I’ve been dying to watch (and almost died watching it), and well, lose a couple of friends and gain a couple more (lets not burst this pink bubble with sad, sad stories).

Books. Yes, let’s talk about the books that I’ve managed to finish.

Love Story by Erich Segal
Blankets by Craig Thompson (yes, that book that I’ve always wanted)
Erm...what else eh....
A few more bookslah that I bought at Ampang Point.
Ampang Point has two bookstores that sell really good secondhand books.

Pay Less and Rent- a-Book/Novel Hut I think.

Yeah, so anyway,

Last Saturday, I watched this movie that I’ve wanted to watch since early this year (I think)
It is called,

HOSTEL

It’s a story of a couple of travelers on a Europe tour and how then ended up dead.
Yeah, I know,
I’m not a very good story teller.
But yeah,

If you re interested, here is the trailer.
But I have to warn you that this movie is seriously not for the fainthearted. hahahahhah
It’s like super weird. And do not, I repeat, do not watch it with your mom and dad. Unless they are okay with people naked on TV (yes, they are naked people in this movie).

Watch this if:

1. You've eaten too much and feel like vomiting

2. You plan to go to Europe anytime soon (Izrin!!!!!)

3. You bf/gf wants to go to Europe. and you know that he'll be screwing good looking

chicks/guys

4. erm..i think 3 is enough


Don't watch this if:

1. You've eaten too much and want to actually keep your dinner/lunch

2. You plan to go to Europe anytime soon

3. You want to go to Europe and screw lots of people

But please watch this if youhave nothing better to watch. And no, that Hindustani thing is not ''somethng better''.


So anyway, yes

Well, that's it for now.
I know, I know.

Oh, before I forget. Incase, just incase, I don’t appear online for the next few days, it's because I got this message on friendster and I just couldn't be bothered to reply.

''WHEN U ALREADY START READING THIS DONT STOP OR ELSE SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN...MY NAME IS TEDDY ...I AM 7 YEARS OLD WITH BLOND HAIR AND SCARY EYES. IHAVE NO NOSE OR EARS. I AM DEAD. IF YOU DONT SEND THIS TO 15PPL B4 U GO TO BED I WILL APPEAR 2NIGHT WITH A KNIFE AND KILL U THIS IS NO JOKE SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO U AT 11:55SOMEONE WILL CALL YOU OR TALK TO YOU ONLINE AND SAY I LOVE YOU OR ASK YOU OUT BUT HERES THE CATCH, YOU HAVE TO SEND IT TO 25 DIFFERENT PEOPLE...YOU CANNOT SEND IT TO ME FOR I HAVE ALREADY SENT IT TO YOU''

Have a good week ahead

Today I almost met Irwansyah in person. hohohoh

I was so excited when Che Kam told me that they’re performing at Muzik-Muzik.

So I picked up the phone and called Papa Khalid.
He pulled a few strings and got me a backstage pass to see Irwansyah before the live show.

Provided I had to be there at 3 or 3.30

I was ecstatic.
But it was already 1 o'clock and the show was going to start at 4.30

So I called up a friend of mine who was in Serdang ( name withheld since he lied to his boss saying that one of his friends met with an accident, sial kan?) and left the office at two.

By the time we got to Plaza Alam Sentral it was already 4. I told my friend,

'Nevermindlah, at least we can see him live, tak in person pun tak pe,'

Honestly I felt sorry for him than for myself. I don’t mind in person ke live ke, I just wanted to see them sing live (which they didn't and made me very, very disappointed).

But it was fun, I don’t really care pasal meet him in person since I was with my best friend. Kalau pergi sorang I don’t think I would enjoy it that much. Eh?